When did you last think, “I don’t have time for this”? Was it last month? Last week? This morning?

There are an amazing number of people, and while it is tempting to write something that will relate to “everyone”, I think it’s important to take the time to address smaller pockets of people. 

So, are you the kind of person who says “no” to everything or who is afraid to commit until the last moment? 

Do you look at your busy schedule and your mountain of homework or extracurriculars and think that there isn’t time to eat dinner with your family for one night, or that you just can’t make it to that party  because you’ll get behind on something else?

People usually talk about those who struggle to say “no”, but those who struggle to say “yes” are equally as important. 

Largely, I fall into the latter camp. I look around and think “that would be fun, but I have too much else on my plate”. 

Just the other day, for example, my mom approached me about an activity at the mall that she thought I would be interested in–and she was right. I wanted to go, but I looked around and thought there wouldn’t be time. 

With my grandma visiting that week, I wouldn’t have time to do as much homework as I needed to, my writing would take up hours, I needed to write this post, I would need to catch back up to my usual homework pace, I would have to get ahead on homework and prepare for more guests as soon as my grandmother left–there was just too much else going on.

So I sighed and said “no”. 

Then I thought about it some more. There are a few things that I would easily sacrifice any amount of time for. One of those is calling my best friend. No matter how busy my schedule looks, if she is able to call, I will make time for it. 

That got me thinking. If I can spend two hours on the phone with her no matter what, how much of my time is actually taken up?

Maybe you read that and thought “well sure, so your time is less full than you think, but my schedule is a different matter.” 

Maybe it is. But then again, maybe it isn’t. Really, it’s a simple matter of your priorities. What do you value the most? Is it your grades? Your reputation? Your friends?

Or maybe you’re thinking “I guess I might have time, but I have to take care of myself, too. I can’t just say yes to everything.” There’s a small chance you’re right about this in your season of life, but if this is where you are, I challenge you to take a closer look. You might say that your homework is too mentally draining, or your job is too physically taxing, but how much is actually “too” much?

When John the Baptist died, Jesus left to be by Himself so He could mourn, but when the crowds came, He didn’t shove them away with a little “I need some alone time”. No, He had compassion and gave up His personal time to mourn the death of His cousin so that He could bless the crowds. 

If He could give up that time for a crowd full of people He likely had never spoken to one-on-one, odds are you can probably sacrifice a few hours for your friends.

I understand. I have been in the “there isn’t time” camp for years, but I wasn’t always. 

When I was in elementary school, I valued my friendships and the time I spent with others more than anything. I was always willing to sacrifice time to play with them.

Then we moved as I entered middle school, and suddenly my view changed. I didn’t want to make friends, because I felt that they wouldn’t last. I stayed cooped up, and, unfortunately, my grades became an idol in my life. 

I “never had time” for other people, even though I easily could have made time, if I had truly wanted to. 

Slowly, God pushed me back toward Him, showing me one piece at a time what the idols in my life were. 

After my most recent move, He began tearing down my idol of grades. First it was an A-, then a B, and slowly I’ve been learning to accept that my grades don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Of course I should try my best, but a bad grade is nothing to lose my mind over.

Now, I’m not saying that your grades are an idol in your life–though they easily could be. We have to balance on a knife’s edge, and there is no “one-size-fits-all”. That’s a myth. 

So, look around at yourself and take a deep breath. Imagine that your mind is a messy room, if that helps, and try to sort out what is even in the tangled mess that covers every surface. 

Is there an upcoming test putting lumps on your mattress? Is there an unanswered invitation growing like a pile of laundry in front of your door? Can you even tell what that long thing on the floor, snaking around every object, is connected to?

If you were to see this room, you might be overwhelmed, but since it’s in your mind, and you have lived with it for so long, how much do you notice it?

Do you break down on occasion? Or often? What causes that? There have been times when I have broken down and had hardly a clue why. I would suddenly melt, and the only way I could describe it was that a mountain of something was tumbling down on top of my head. I wanted to stop it, but I didn’t know how.

Could the mountain be the tangled mess in my mind? I thought that perhaps it was expectations, but I didn’t know why. 

It was tempting to blame my circumstances, but if I accused my circumstances of making me melt, wasn’t I just accusing God, who had placed me in those circumstances? 

According to 1 Corinthians 10:13-14, “God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it. So then, my dear friends, flee from idolatry.”

If this is the case, why do we feel that there is “too much”?

It is likely that you have heard verse 13 on its own, but verse 14 is often severed from it. I think that is a mistake. Doesn’t it practically give us the answer?

Flee from idolatry. 

If you can’t see the way that God has provided, if you feel that everything is too much, look for the idol in your life. 

Where did you go wrong? 

If all you cared about was pleasing God, you wouldn’t break over a bad grade. Or a late assignment. Or a little less sleep than you would like.

Somewhere in that messy room of a mind, a dark, slimy, idol is hiding. Probably more than one, actually. And it’s likely that the idols are hiding in plain sight. That they are the things you are most proud of. The “cleanest” parts of your room.

Take my grades, for example. I was extremely proud of my 4.0 at the end of every year. I took it on as my identity, and any grade I deemed “bad” sent me sobbing in my room. It was pitiful, really. I was blinded by my own desires.

What’s worse than my despair at, say, a B, was that I believed I was remarkably good at viewing things objectively. 

I thought I saw the world clearly, as it really was, when there was an enormous tree lodged in my eye. I never would have been able to move if it weren’t for God’s grace. 

My pride had snaked in, winding around my mind until I could hardly move and could only catch slight impressions of the Light I needed. 

Maybe you have a similar problem. Maybe your pride is holding you fast while an idol eats away at your heart. 

Maybe you’ve watched it climb higher year by year, but you haven’t had the courage to squish it since it seems to be the thing holding you up. 

I was too afraid to do anything about my idol for a long time once I realized it was present. I would catch a glimpse of it from the corner of my eye, but rather than roll up my sleeves and get to work tearing it up, I would shiver and look the other way. 

There were times when I half wished I would fail a class just to get rid of the idol, but at the same time I clung to it with all my might. I had few friends, and my pride had convinced me that a low grade would ruin me. That it would forever scar how my classmates perceived me. I hardly spoke, and, from my blinded perspective, the only thing my classmates knew me as was the kid who got great grades. 

So I clung to the poisoned vine. I kept drinking in the saltwater. 

In reality, I’m sure that none of my classmates or friends would have judged me in the slightest if my grades tanked. 

I wish I could tell you that there’s an easy solution to these idols, but there isn’t. Even now, years after discovering the idol, I still struggle with it. It’s always reaching up, trying to take control, and all I can do is keep fighting. 

So then, that’s the key. Don’t give up. 

It might feel overwhelming, but I can say that if you keep running toward the light at the end of the tunnel, believing that God is with you and will give you strength, it will get easier. 

I didn’t say it will be easy, mind you, just easier. You will be able to aim at your idols, rather than randomly shooting in the dark, but that doesn’t mean you will have the skill to hit a bull’s eye the first try. It takes a lifetime–maybe more–of practice.

Even that is an enormous blessing though. We are stained by our pride and our idols, but if we can find them and start diligently fighting them with God’s help wherever they spring up, there is a well of joy to be found underneath the vines. 

So keep a sharp eye. Don’t just gloss over your little burst of anger and forget about it once you’ve apologized. Begin interrogating yourself. Start digging down into your heart. 

Why did you get mad at your younger sibling when they asked if you could lend them a pen? Why did you scroll on instagram when your mom told you to clean your room? Why did you say “no” to your friend’s invitation when you really could have made time? Why did you keep getting distracted from your homework? 

Some of these answers might be harmless, but others could be deeply rooted in idols you didn’t realize you had.

Keep an open mind. Don’t make excuses. If you tell yourself that you don’t have a problem with something, it’s actually pretty likely that you do. And if you won’t let yourself find it, it will only grow until you have no choice but to face the giant monster you’ve allowed to thrive for years.

Be vigilant, and never give up. Make a list of your priorities, with Bible or prayer at the top, and figure out what it is that you value most and if you should give it as much attention as it receives. 

Uncover your idols so you can tell which way to run. 

And push yourself out of your comfort zone. When your friend asks if you can come over, start saying “yes”. You can probably make the time. Look for opportunities to serve others, even if it means that you get a little less sleep. Put others before yourself as Christ put us before Himself.

Over the past few months, I’ve started working on saying yes, and, despite the fact that I am getting significantly less sleep, I honestly think I’m happier now. 

God is with me, and serving others out of love is amazing. It’s far better than curling up and saying “no” to all the opportunities, even if that yields more sleep. 

So look around and get to work rooting up idols, putting others first, and finding the freedom that Christ offers. 

I promise that it does exist, and you can find it, if only you are willing to let go of your idols and look.