‘For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.’ ~Ecclesiastes 4:10 (KJV)

Our society is increasingly focused on being individualistic and independent. Being single is seen as empowering, breaking ties from people who slow you down is applauded- and the best show of power is a person who doesn’t need anyone.

Being independent is not necessarily a bad thing, and being self-reliant can be praiseworthy. We don’t want to be leeches on people.

But we don’t want to be isolated, either. In Genesis, God saw that ‘it was not good for man to be alone’. The Bible talks about how we were made for companionship and friendship. 

‘Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!’~Psalm 133:1

‘Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.’ ~Proverbs 27:17

God made us for companionship, he made us to have connections with people. But he didn’t make us to be clingy, and to be constantly surrounding ourselves with people and half-baked friendships- rather to be intentional with our relationships.

I recently stumbled over a metaphor that encompasses this perfectly, from the book The Unselected Journals of Emma M Lion by Beth Brower (fantastic series). Emma is writing from the perspective of her childhood self, watching a group of men set up a tent for a picnic. She writes ‘through a series of what to my young mind were magician’s tricks, the lifted the tent. And then, anchor rope by anchor rope, it was pulled taut, secured with stakes hammered into the ground…The memory came to mind just now. And something I’ve not felt for longer than I care to admit began to take shape. That, come sunshine or cloud, I was going to be fine. More than fine. In place, and strong, and anchored in.’ She goes on to say how each of her friends are a stake, holding her down in rough times.

The metaphor of a tent is perfect. When I worked with an evangelist group in the summers, we would use a large circus-ish tent. When you set it up, you have the tent covering, you have the stakes on the sides, and you have one center pole in the middle (that weighs a hundred pounds). So let’s work with this tent metaphor.

If the tent itself is you- your life, your faith, your sanity. Durable, yes, but big and floppy, and easily tossed around in the wind. So for extra support, you need the poles and stakes. The ones that stabilize you in storms. We try to make those stakes on schedules, phones, entertainment, and even well meaning things like church or a devotional.

So we need to replace those things with something more stabilizing.

Take that center pole. It’s strong, and takes at least three people to set it up. That center pole is God. He is the one that holds you up, gives you strength. Even if you just have that one pole, the tent will still stand. Build your life around that center, and you can stand.

But though the tent can stand, it can still wobble and sway. It needs to be stabilized. That’s when Emma’s metaphor comes in. Those stakes are your closest friends. Your siblings and parents. Your mentors that keep you grounded. The people who know you, flaws and all, and still are with you after years and years. People who can both encourage you and humble you in one sentence.

You might find that it will be easier to keep your life grounded with people holding it down.

A CHALLENGE

A challenge for you- make a list of those who are your stakes, and then let them know that. A text, a card, something special- let them know the impact you have on your life. They’re doing a lot of work holding your tent up!