What is the hardest part of walking by faith for you? For me it’s there are a lot of variables and Unknowns. Then I find myself falling into a pattern of comparison to others.

A Personal Note

My classmates that are in four year colleges are finishing their first year. But others are in programs that last a few months to a year and they have already graduated or are graduating later this month. I was supposed to be in the latter group. I was on course to be done before high school graduation and celebrate both graduations at one party. But that plan slowly came to a halt as I experienced a trial that required me to slow down and switch gears for a little bit. Then shortly after that I started having chronic health issues.One month I was back to being myself after some of the hardest months, the next I couldn’t do many of the things I love because I couldn’t think clearly enough, or didn’t have enough energy. Now here I am an entire year later, I haven’t even started the programs I was supposed to be done with by graduation. I can only work part time and I am still limited on what I have the ability to do.

I have always struggled with having friends my age. I am always either the oldest by multiple years or the youngest by a few years. There are a few I am older than from time to time. But for the most part they are a few years older than me. A year and a half ago I got to attend my now best friend’s wedding. This last fall the other friend who I am not as close with got married. This spring my amazing best friend got to welcome her daughter into the world. I had the honor of being there for her through her whole pregnancy,and being one of the first to know. Meanwhile, I am single, and always have been, with no relationship visible to me on the horizon, though as always God could have plans I am unaware of.

My path can be rocky but I still find myself comparing my rough path to the visually smooth path of others. Even with no clue what their path actually looks like up close. I find myself comparing myself to those friends regularly, they are both several years older than me. But I find myself feeling behind because I don’t have those things. I used to question what was wrong with me that I never had the same things as any of my peers. But God has really helped me correct that mindset. (Thank you to my best friend who He frequently uses to give me an attitude adjustment.)

Comparing Paths

Luke 13:24 “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you will try to enter and will not be able.”

As people we are prone to comparison. But paying attention to other peoples’ walks takes our attention off of where we are putting our feet. On narrow paths and roads it only takes one distracted step to get off the path.

A few? Well with a few distracted steps it’s easy to be completely off course, and lost without sight of the correct path. 

Sometimes the path takes a turn we aren’t prepared for and miss because we are looking at others peoples path instead of our own. 

It is important to remember that when we do get off path we are just a prayer away from a path that will put us back on course. Should we keep bailing off the path and letting comparison draw our attention? Simple answer? No.  

Comparison is a dangerous game. Have you ever heard it said that way before? When I have heard it that way it generally had a secular meaning. But it’s not wrong. 

When we let comparison into our minds it doesn’t just take us off path, it does so much more.

When you let comparison in it is really easy to become jealous and even start questioning God. It’s easy to start trying to do things on your timeline because you feel behind. Next thing you know you are trying to set your own course and timeline. Soon you find not only did you lose the path and exchange it for your own, you traded God’s peace for your stress. That stress keeps growing and growing, becoming overwhelming. 

I have experienced most of that because I have been so prone to comparison and setting my own path. I have questioned God so many times, especially in my high school years. I had decided my path had to include high school sweethearts. But that wasn’t God’s plan and somewhere I have a future husband thanking God that He blew that plan up completely and never let me get close. I am also very impulsive and could easily be prone to doing things on a whim. But that seems to be balanced out by over analyzing everything.

Have you ever felt yourself asking God why someone had something you wanted and didn’t have? Have you ever asked God why your phase of life is lasting so much longer than others? 

All of those come from comparison, though as you go through life it doesn’t always look like comparison but that is what it is. Sometimes it feels more like a lack of understanding or any number of things outside of comparison. But that is most likely a form of comparison. We tend to frame it differently in our minds and hide the label of comparison away from the thoughts. It’s easier that way, it doesn’t feel the same if we don’t call it sin.

The Path Ahead

What is something you tend to compare yourself with others because of? What do you do when you are struggling with comparison? Do you let yourself fall into it? Do you try to fight it with your own strength? Do you talk to God about it?

I deeply recommend that you talk to God about all of your struggles, especially with comparison. But the important thing is that you don’t try to tell a polished version of it. Be rough and raw, don’t try to hide the ugly. 

The good news is God isn’t afraid of the ugly. God already knows the ugly and chooses you anyway! I know that doesn’t make it easier to bare before God. But let me give you a piece of advice I got from my best friend: God already knows your thoughts, it is okay to cry or yell or scream at God, He already knows keeping it in your mind doesn’t change that.

The road is narrow; not because few choose it. But because it’s about us and our hearts, not anyone else’s. Occasionally we will come up on someone that needs some help or encouragement, just like from time to time we do. Sometimes it takes turns because we are needed somewhere different from others. Stay on your path, don’t worry about other peoples’.