Have you ever been shut down before you can properly express your opinion? Maybe your parents won’t even consider your argument, despite the fact that you have a really good reason why you should be allowed to drive the family car. Maybe your sibling shuts you down during a discussion and refuses to accept the fact that they might be wrong.

Being ignored and snubbed by those around us is never a pleasant experience. It frustrates us, sticks in our memory for months or years after the fact, and makes us want to close off from the person who snubbed us. None of us enjoy it, and sometimes we even avoid situations where we might find our opinions disregarded. But have we ever considered the fact that we might be ignoring or shutting down those around us?

Now, I will be the first to admit that I’ve snubbed people in the past (see the example about sibling discussions). I’m not blameless in this–I don’t think anyone truly is. And that’s why I think it’s important to discuss the fact that ‘shutting people down’ happens even in Christian circles, driving away people who might otherwise have become converts to the faith.

The ‘Snub Culture’ of Christianity

As a Protestant-turned-Catholic Christian with friends from both denominations, I have become very familiar with the idea of ‘snub culture’ in Christianity. As a Protestant, I attended a church where the pastor took very strong stances on his beliefs, and openly announced that those who didn’t agree with him were disgusting, shameful individuals. If there were any people struggling with certain sins in that audience, I doubt they went to him for assistance after the fact. As a Catholic, I’ve been to a parish where the ‘faith’ is so rigid that no discussion of different beliefs is likely to be tolerated. And as a result, families broke apart and several beautiful Christians left the parish. Is this how Jesus would want us to approach our faith and community life? By shutting down sinners and making it clear that they have no place with us?

Now, in case I’m misunderstood, let me make it clear: I’m not advocating for the acceptance of sins. God has made the truth clear in His Word, and I have no desire to speak against that. However, refusing to listen to sinners, or entering any conversation with the assumption that we are in the right, will never bring the light of Christ into the world. And ignoring the voices of people who, in many cases, truly believe themselves to be in the right will never add members to the Kingdom of God.

God’s Approach to Sinners

Jesus did not ignore the sinners who crossed His path. In fact, He went out of His way to interact with them.

“And as he sat at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were sitting with Jesus and his disciples; for there were many who followed him. And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” (Mark 2:15-16).

Jesus did what the Pharisees would not–sit down with sinners and speak to them on their level. He had a conversation with the Woman at the Well. He knelt down and wrote in the dirt before the adulterous woman. And He invited a tax collector to join Him in spreading the Good News throughout the world.

Jesus sat with sinners. He did not condone their actions, but neither did He call them “shameful” and “disgusting”. If this is the way God chose to call sinners to Himself, why should Christians do anything different?

“But wait,” I hear some of you saying. “Jesus called the Scribes and Pharisees hypocrites. He called out their actions all the time!” Well, yes, Jesus did call out the Pharisees quite frequently during His ministry. But here’s the thing: the Pharisees knew what they were doing. They had read and studied the law. They understood exactly what Jesus meant when he called Himself the “Son of Man.” They knew the truth and continued preaching against Him because they wanted a god that aligned with how they were living.

The sinners we engage with on a daily basis may not have ever read the Bible, much less studied the Scriptures to the extent the Pharisees did. Telling people who don’t hold the same beliefs as us that they are wrong and shameful will serve no purpose. They have no reason to believe us–why should they listen to constant attempts to guilt them into conversion if they don’t even accept the infallibility of Scripture?

If we as Christians truly want to call sinners to conversion, we should try imitating Jesus’ method. Let us sit with sinners. Let us invite them out for coffee and ask them what it is that they believe. Then, let us listen with open ears and not give the million counterarguments swirling through our heads. If we honestly listen to their opinions without offering our own, chances are good that they’ll ask what we think, and then we can share our thoughts without hammering people over the head.

In reality, none of us are perfect. We have no right to point out a speck in our brother’s eye while the log is still in our own. So let us imitate Christ in this, as in all other things, and sit with sinners before we condemn them.